Choice paradox on dating apps! How to overcome it and get the right mate?

Online dating apps are meant to help people find dates with a good match. But many times, it may have a negative impact. For some it may be overwhelming. Too many choices van confuse and make it harder to find love online (choice paradox)

Online dating apps and confusion

If you find that online dating is only confusing you and you cannot find the match for yourself, you are not alone. Many people who try to get their ‘the one’s on dating apps end up getting overwhelmed with the large number of choices on it. It becomes hard to choose and you feel like giving up the search for a date. There is less satisfaction even if you shortlist a few from the multitude of choices of potential partners on the site. Besides, unfortunately if you fail in your relationship, you tend to blame it on your wrong choice. You wonder whether you could have been in a better position and s stable relationship if you had opted for another choice that you in the first place dismissed. All these feelings are not good to harbor.

Choice Paradox
There are innumerable dating apps these days (Source: Pinterest)

Many choices on dating apps and choice paradox

Never before in relationship history could one get so many choices of prospective dates. You click one button and lo and behold you have thousands of names of dates that match with your choices. And you have to choose only one of them. Difficult! You may end up unable to choose anyone. This is Choice paradox.

Firstly there are n number of dating apps these days. You do not know which to go for!!! And then there are so many date seekers on each app. This makes it all the more hard. The whole process is tedious and time consuming. You have 5o think a lot on what to share online and what not to share online. The choice of your profile pictures also takes time. And then you debate whether to go for a good looking date or hunt for one with some moral values. You want both but this could be even more hard. And then you choose one. Later, you two meet and you find something that you do not like. And you start wondering on whether you picked the right one or not.

Choice Paradox
Choice Paradox leads to confusion and less satisfaction (Source: CN traveller)

Choice paradox

There is a myth that more choices are good. But this is not true. In fact with more choices, satisfaction falls. And confusion increases. Firstly, you find it harder to select. This is due to choice overload. There is more pressure in choosing. Stress levels are high.

And then after you choose one or two out of the lot, you are still less satisfied. There is a lingering feeling that maybe the other choice would have been better. This feeling negates your satisfaction level.

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And on choosing one if unluckily it turns out to be a wrong mate, you feel that had you chosen the second one it would have been better. You tend to scold yourself for it.

How to overcome all these negativities and find the right mate?

Choice Paradox
Try to not get overwhelmed with choices (Source: Tiny Buddha)

Choice is a human characteristic. It does not exist in animals. But let this not overwhelm you. Be confident if the choice of dating app and person you made. Take it as a learning process and an experiment. Even if you end with a wrong mate, it is not the end of the world. Enjoy what you meet with and do not go into the fantasy world trying to find someone that does not exist. Face realities and remember reality is always harsh!!!